Thank You, Madiba!

I wrote this on Dec 5, 2013, the day my beloved Tata Madiba, Nelson Rolihlahla Mandela went home to heaven. 

"I sit in shock and joy hearing the news of Nelson Mandela’s transition to heaven.

Shock, because he has played a  critical role in who I am today.  Growing up in Nigeria, witnessing the day he walked out of prison as a child, to the transformative leader he was.

Joy, because we Africans celebrate the passing of an elder who LIVED!  He changed this world for so many beyond the continent of Africa."

What can I say about Madiba's influence in my life?  I wrote a list of 40 things (No, I am not sharing the entire list) and I can say that because he lived, I am (Ubuntu):

1.  "I am fundamentally an optimist. Whether that comes from nature or nurture, I cannot say. Part of being optimistic is keeping one’s head pointed toward the sun, one’s feet moving forward. There were many dark moments when my faith in humanity was sorely tested, but I would not and could not give myself up to despair. That way lays defeat and death." — Nelson Mandela (Long Walk to Freedom: Autobiography of Nelson Mandela)

2.  Forgiveness is a prerequisite for complete freedom.  If you are not free emotionally or spiritually, you close the door to the best of what life has to offer you. 

3.  I was not created to live small.  Small is for the birds, so live FULLY!

4.  Certain challenges seem  insurmountable, until you chisel (or sledgehammer) away bit by bit, to the other side.

5.  We are all called to serve.  Your form of service is tied to your passion.  Serve your community, family, friends, etc.   It is a key ingredient to a fulfilled life and legacy.  

6.  Fear and Courage go hand in hand. Everything worth doing comes with a healthy dose of fear.  Victory, in part, comes with the knowledge that you conquered your fear. Be BRAVE!

7.   You will fail at certain things. (trust me)   You have a choice--give up and stay down, or dust yourself off and get back in the game.  It's your decision and ... your life!

8.   Living is not just about doing for yourself, but what you do for others as well.

9.   Seek goodness daily!  Start your day with gratitude and positivity.  When was the last time you performed a random act of kindness?  If you are stuck, Bat Boy is a good reminder. 

10.  Enduring love is a healthy relationship with the right partner, who loves you flaws and all and vice versa.  It is a connection, partnership, friendship, and it is worth the wait. 

 Nelson Mandela once said his wife, Graca Machel, made him "bloom like a flower." 

:-)

Thank you, Madiba! love+live.life

Me and My Shadow

My shadow in Phoenix, Arizona

I believe that the Jungian “Shadow” archetype has been given bad reputation by pop culture and those who don’t understand its importance to human personality.   The Shadow is everywhere in popular culture.  It is Bruce Wayne’s Batman or any other character with a dark superhero alter ego.  It is the evil Mr. Hyde to the good Dr. Jekyll.  Ask anyone you know and they are likely to refer to the shadow side of one’s personality in a negative way, but is this really true?

According to Carl Jung, everyone has an energy within that stays hidden from the conscious mind (ego), yet it contributes to the overall structure of one’s personality.  This energy, which contains more of man’s basic animal nature than any other part of the unconscious, is the shadow.  The shadow is amoral—neither good nor bad, just like animals.  It simply does what it does.  It drives our normal instincts and appropriate responses that have survival value.  It also has the ability to be the most powerful and potentially dangerous part of the psyche, so it’s no wonder we often work hard to suppress our shadow side.

The funny thing is, your shadow is persistent and does not want to be ignored.  It is always around and works with your ego. When your shadow and ego are in close harmony, you feel full of life and vigor.  The harder you work to suppress it, the likely you are to sink into depression, spin out of control, or project those unwanted parts of yourself onto another person.  When one unconsciously suppresses the shadow, you do so at the expense of the best part of the psyche that is also hidden. Unrealized talents and gifts, spontaneity, creativity, strong emotions, and deep insights all live in the power of your shadow.  Your ability to handle situations that require immediate decisions and reactions or actions, come with your shadow. 

Bruce Wayne knew that the only way to truly be himself or help Gotham City, was to become Batman at the appropriate time.  He embraced his shadow and so should you.  Those sometimes socially considered unattractive, dark, and annoying traits or behaviors are what make you whole, real, and three-dimensional.  The key is to find ‘acceptable’ forms of expressions for your shadow, so that the whole personality, its light and its dark sides, can be brought into greater balance.  So, the next time your shadow shows up, acknowledge its presence, smile, and take it by the hand. love+live.life