ELEVATE...

My 2014 theme created in Illustrator with Pantone 2014 colors: Radiant Orchid, Freesia, and Hemlock

It's that time of the year and I couldn't be more excited!  To everyone that read, commented, or shared my blog posts, THANK YOU for your support in 2013!

If you're like me, you have probably spent days reflecting on 2013 (an amazing year), while prepping for 2014.  I can't wait for what the new year will bring.  No, it is not a passive "anything-that-comes-my-way-will-be-great" approach either.  I have spent time to design the life I love to live in 2014, so much so that my theme for the year is... ELEVATE!

Elevate!  It's time to go higher in every area of my life-- physical, spiritual, intellectual, and emotional.  Yes, that includes blogging more often :-)  I even sketched out a metaphor of how I intend to approach 2014 (see below). The way I see it, life is too darn short and we were designed to live it fully!  So, it's time to go higher, step up, (insert the verb of your choice).  Basically, it's time for more action.  I even have my ELEVATE playlist for my iPhone ready.  I LOVE MUSIC, so this journey wouldn't be complete without its own soundtrack.

My 2014 life metaphor is a Free-Standing Glass Elevator

Have you thought about how you want to BE in 2014?  What would happen if you lived 2014 unchained?  Unchained and unbound from the "I'm not sure's", "It's not me's", "I'm not ready's", and other self-limiting thoughts and behaviors that keep us stuck, unfulfilled, longing, and potentially settling for less than we deserve.

What if you "designed" 2014 for the perfect end-user? You!

You are the designer and end-user of your life.  You are the Steve Jobs to your very own personalized and one of a kind, iPhone.  If your iPhone/iPad/iPod/MacBook (pick one) doesn't meet your standards, then redesign it.  Hold on to that visual in your mind, let your imagination run free on what to change! PS:  If you don't own an Apple product, there's no excuse.  Substitute whatever product you enjoy and it's creator into this metaphor.  If you don't know the design origin of the product (s), engage your curiosity.

What would happen if you let go of the old stories, people, behaviors, actions, and thoughts that don't serve you well in 2014?  

Challenge yourself!  Act on those "I wonder's", "What if's", "Who's" and the other curious thoughts or ideas you've had ruminating for a while.  Life is NOW!  Stop waiting for all your ducks to line up perfectly before taking the first step to the life you desire.  What have you got to lose?

"Allow events to change you. 
You have to be willing to grow. Growth is different from something that happens to you. You produce it. You live it. The prerequisites for growth: the openness to experience events and the willingness to be changed by them...

Love your experiments (as you would an ugly child). 

Joy is the engine of growth. Exploit the liberty in casting your work as beautiful experiments, iterations, attempts, trials, and errors. Take the long view and allow yourself the fun of failure every day.
Go deep. 

The deeper you go the more likely you will discover something of value...

Begin anywhere.
John Cage tells us that not knowing where to begin is a common form of paralysis. His advice: begin anywhere...

Collaborate. 
The space between people working together is filled with conflict, friction, strife, exhilaration, delight, and vast creative potential.

____________________. 
Intentionally left blank. Allow space for the ideas you haven’t had yet, and for the ideas of others..."

 - from Bruce Mau's Incomplete Manifesto For Growth

What is your theme for 2014? What are you willing to do to live that theme in 2014?  Don't leave it to other people or circumstances to design or define your 2014.   

Make it yours and MAKE IT FUN!

Thanks to Ayse Birsel for her awesome Design the Life You Love workshop and all that inspired this post.

"Elevate" - St. Lucia

"New Day"- Alicia Keys

Here's to a well designed and elevated life in 2014! love+live.life!

Thank You, Madiba!

I wrote this on Dec 5, 2013, the day my beloved Tata Madiba, Nelson Rolihlahla Mandela went home to heaven. 

"I sit in shock and joy hearing the news of Nelson Mandela’s transition to heaven.

Shock, because he has played a  critical role in who I am today.  Growing up in Nigeria, witnessing the day he walked out of prison as a child, to the transformative leader he was.

Joy, because we Africans celebrate the passing of an elder who LIVED!  He changed this world for so many beyond the continent of Africa."

What can I say about Madiba's influence in my life?  I wrote a list of 40 things (No, I am not sharing the entire list) and I can say that because he lived, I am (Ubuntu):

1.  "I am fundamentally an optimist. Whether that comes from nature or nurture, I cannot say. Part of being optimistic is keeping one’s head pointed toward the sun, one’s feet moving forward. There were many dark moments when my faith in humanity was sorely tested, but I would not and could not give myself up to despair. That way lays defeat and death." — Nelson Mandela (Long Walk to Freedom: Autobiography of Nelson Mandela)

2.  Forgiveness is a prerequisite for complete freedom.  If you are not free emotionally or spiritually, you close the door to the best of what life has to offer you. 

3.  I was not created to live small.  Small is for the birds, so live FULLY!

4.  Certain challenges seem  insurmountable, until you chisel (or sledgehammer) away bit by bit, to the other side.

5.  We are all called to serve.  Your form of service is tied to your passion.  Serve your community, family, friends, etc.   It is a key ingredient to a fulfilled life and legacy.  

6.  Fear and Courage go hand in hand. Everything worth doing comes with a healthy dose of fear.  Victory, in part, comes with the knowledge that you conquered your fear. Be BRAVE!

7.   You will fail at certain things. (trust me)   You have a choice--give up and stay down, or dust yourself off and get back in the game.  It's your decision and ... your life!

8.   Living is not just about doing for yourself, but what you do for others as well.

9.   Seek goodness daily!  Start your day with gratitude and positivity.  When was the last time you performed a random act of kindness?  If you are stuck, Bat Boy is a good reminder. 

10.  Enduring love is a healthy relationship with the right partner, who loves you flaws and all and vice versa.  It is a connection, partnership, friendship, and it is worth the wait. 

 Nelson Mandela once said his wife, Graca Machel, made him "bloom like a flower." 

:-)

Thank you, Madiba! love+live.life

It's All Good: The Encounter at 7-Eleven (part 1)

Jim Rohn image courtesy of 74 Lime Lane

This is my first post that will address the issue of faith and spirituality.  I am a Christian, but this post is not about religion, but something deeper.  It is about those unplanned moments we encounter, that have the potential to affirm or make you think twice about what you are doing with your life, and what you believe.  I had such an experience on Friday night.

I am a big believer in nothing happens by mistake.  There are no coincidences.  Everything that happens has a meaning and a purpose.  You might say that my INFP personality is driven by my desire to find meaning in everything, but I might see things differently.  To really honor the lesson and awareness I have gained from this "Encounter", this post will be in two or three parts.  I hope that by sharing this story, you become awakened to those encounters that can lead to great self-awareness of the biggest lesson of all--  You were born for a reason and you matter!

The Encounter...

After an evening of celebration with friends, I was homeward bound and thirsty.  I decided to stop at a 7-Eleven to get some ginger ale and what happened next, as I paid for my drink, was quite unexpected.  My companion had struck a conversation with the employee cashier, which peaked my interest.  The gentleman told us about how he ended up working at 7-Eleven for $500 a week, when he used to take home $5000 a week... as a drug dealer.

It turns out that he used to be a big time drug dealer in the area, who ended up doing six years for his crime.  Upon his release, he got a management job at a construction company, where he earned $1200 a week (I am in the wrong field).  Well, that didn't last long.  As he described it, "I still lived by street codes and the rules in corporate are very different.  I didn't know that."  He witnessed one of the laborers he managed, verbally harass a girl.  After several warnings and no change, he decided to "teach him that you do not speak that way to someone's daughter. " (I'll leave that statement to your imagination).  His misguided act of chivalry cost him his job, hence he now works the late shift at 7-Eleven.

During this encounter, I was struck by how humbled he appeared.  He seemed at peace with how his life has turned out. Something inside me was stirred, because I recognized that peace.  He quietly, yet joyfully began to tell us that he knows it is all part of God's plan.  I knew what he meant.  I have had those why-do-these-things-keep-happening-to-me experiences that no one can explain.  No, I haven't dealt in drugs, nor have I been to jail but in many ways, I been in a different sort of prison.  Just like the man that stood before us with a  peaceful presence and smile on his face, I have learned that being knocked off your plan or being humbled by your life's events, is always for a reason... (click here for part 2)  love+live.life!

Transitions... Advice from a Caterpillar

"Who are YOU?" said the Caterpillar.

This was not an encouraging opening for a conversation. Alice replied, rather shyly, "I--I hardly know, sir, just at present-- at least I know who I WAS when I got up this morning, but I think I must have been changed several times since then."...

The Caterpillar was the first to speak.  "What size do you want to be?" it asked.

"Oh, I'm not particular as to size," Alice hastily replied; "only one doesn't like changing so often, you know."

"I DON'T know" said the Caterpillar.

Alice said nothing: she had never been so much contradicted in her life before, and she felt that she was losing her temper.

-  Chapter V in Alice's Adventures in Wonderland

Lewis Carroll was onto something in this exchange between Alice and the Caterpillar.   Alice was chasing a white rabbit when she fell into the hole and stumbled into a foreign land.  She has shrunk to a smaller size and  almost drowned in her own tears.   She just listened to a mouse deliver a dry lecture, watched animals engage in a Caucus-Race, where everyone runs in a circle with no clear winner, and now she meets a blue Caterpillar sitting on a mushroom smoking a hookah.

Their interaction begins when the Caterpillar asks " Who are YOU?" which leads to Alice's admission that she currently does not know who she is.  Alice is having an identity crisis!

Hands up if you haven't felt like Alice at one time or the other.  I have been exploring "Who am I?" for the past year.  In some ways, I have had my own identity crisis.  I've been in that place where life decides to switch things on you without notice.  Better yet, you have hoped and prayed for something to change but the process feels as though you have fallen into a dark abyss and you are lost.  Everything feels unfamiliar  and you are in a perpetual state of confusion, frustration, hope, relief, and grief all at once.

These feelings of being suspended in purgatory may come as a result of the loss of a job, loved one, or relationship.  It may come because you resist or oppose change in your life.  If you are nodding your head in agreement, rest assured that all is well.  You are merely in transition.  

According to William Bridges in his book, Transitions: Making Sense of Life's Changes, life is one big transition  with an "ending-then-beginning pattern" in continuous play as each person grows and changes.  Transition is an internal process, a paradigm shift that occurs in the mind as one goes through change.  To be clear, transition is not change.  It happens much slower and subtly than change does, but ultimately, being in transition leads to change.  Just like Alice, you live experiences and along the way, your view through the looking glass of life makes you question "Who am I now?", "Why/What is this happening?", " Why me?", " Why now?"

The most important thing to remember when in transition is that the neutral zone between the end and new beginning stages is the most disorienting.  However, it can be where your greatest moments of creativity, innovation, and renewal occur.  You may feel the need to withdraw, be alone, or feel empty.  Do not apologize or feel defensive, for the neutral zone is meant "to be a moratorium from the conventional activity of your everyday existence."  In embracing this period, you are welcomed with an extraordinary kind of awareness of who you are.  You start to see and think differently, old things are left behind to make room for the new.  You are able to answer the Caterpillar's  "What size do you want to be?" question in the neutral zone. 

In the end, accept being in transition.  It will help soothe the bumps that you will encounter along the way toward change.  love+live.life!